i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
