So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
