no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
