This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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