Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
