Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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