Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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