i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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