Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Fuck appropriateness.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
