i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
