I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
