THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
