They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
