Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
