I'm so fucking centered right now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize