pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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