I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
