this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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