Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
