Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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