i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
