I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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