Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize
