Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
