We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dick very happy bro
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
