it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
