You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This girl is more easily done than said...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
