She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
