If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
