You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
