i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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