$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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