i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
