you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
