If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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