I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i will never coherently bang her
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
