you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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