why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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