I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
