I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
