WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
