I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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