If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
