what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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