there's paper in my vomit.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
