I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's shark week go big or go home
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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