We need to rekindle our bromance
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
