It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
