the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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