You don't have asthma, your pregnant
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
