My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
