tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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