I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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